A Minnesotan Breaks Down Brexit

Know anything about Brexit? Being a British kind of deal, who better to explain it than a Minnesotan living thousands of miles away who’s never been east of Hinckley.

LOL! Seriously, I’m your man. If I were not an expert on Britain, how do you explain the fact that I frequently drive to work on the left hand side of the street and say “Top o’ the morning, Guvnor” and “bloody heck” a lot? Plus, I had many informative discussions with my friend Paul Trill from Glenwood, by way of the United Kingdom, about the U-K, the E-U, and the E-I-E-I-O.

 

 

 

 

 

Paul was particularly impressed with my keen insight into the British monetary system.  Expert knowledge gained from intense study of the banking scene in Mary Poppins.

Thus, having solidly established my Anglophile cred, you’re probably asking, “Very well…’Sir Shotgun’…how will Brexit affect the price of Master English Muffin Toasting Bread at Eldens Fresh Foods because, bloody heck, I love that stuff!” Me, too, your lordship. Or ladyship. And/Or both. Or neither. Quick sidebar–The question of how you choose to identify your “shipness” has no place in this or any other discussion of Brexit and/or Dick Van Dyke.

Good news, Guvnor! According to store manager JR Christiansen, Brexit will not affect Master English Muffin Toasting Bread prices at Eldens. However, it has caused JR to occasionally walk down Third Avenue dressed like Henry VIII. Blimey!

As far as British politicians are concerned, don’t worry. Everything will be fine once the Queen officially yells, “Off with their heads!”

If Her Royal Majesty won’t do it to a politician or two, maybe she’ll at least chop off Piers Morgan’s head. That would be a jolly good show.