Alexandria, Meet Your New Neighbor

Is Alexandria prepared for a visit from outer space?

September 20th, a million people may or may not descend on Area 51 near Roswell, NM to demand that the government show us what’s there, space alien-wise.

The idea formed in the skull of earthling Matt Roberts.

But, Roswell isn’t the only place storing evidence of far away visitors (allegedly). How about this?

The Kensington Runestone.

What more proof do you need that Alexandria could, once again, be a destination for SOMETHING OUT THERE!

What if it happens? What if a UFO decides to, say, land on the roof of Viking Towers.

Or, put down in the Tastefully Simple parking lot.

Or, start making crop circles at the Anderson Farm during the Clay Walker concert?

You don’t think Alexandria’s Red Bulls aren’t ready to deploy?

You bet your Millenium Falcon they are.

By the way, the 34th is currently in training…no doubt working on an official “Handling Little Green Men Military Action Plan” that surely includes these four steps:

1) Secure area.

2) Secure LGM.

3) Place secured LGM in holding facility—which I am not allowed to show.

4) Evacuate secured LGM via route—I’m not allowed to mention—to Duluth where 114th Transportation Company will make delivery to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, Hangar 18, Dayton, Ohio.

Wright-Patterson Air Force Base Hangar 18 Fun Fact: THERE IS NO HANGAR 18!









Then again, when our close encounter of the fifth kind happens, maybe the Alexandria Lakes Area Chamber of Commerce will step up to the plate. It’s their business to welcome visitors.

Executive Director Tara Bitzan assures all Alexandria citizens that they are ready with a friendly smile, a get-to-know-us brochure, and Reese’s Pieces.

Perhaps, District 206 can put E.T. and his little green friends back in their comfort zone…behind a steering wheel.

They’ve driven this far. What’s a little jaunt to Discovery Middle School?

Do we know THEY aren’t among us already? Look at this other-worldly, perfectly aerodynamic contraption, obviously capable of seating six or more Martians comfortably.  It was spotted in Alexandria on the lawn just outside Lake Community Church

Hold on. That’s just a play set.

Or….is it?




Check Also

Our offices are closed Wednesday, December 23rd – Friday December 25th and Thursday December 31st …