Books are a hot topic in Alexandria’s Discovery Middle School. I love books. Fat books. Skinny books. Books that climb on rocks.
Oops. Sorry. Kinda’ slid into the Armour hot dog jingle for some reason.
The Alexandria School Board has banned a couple of books after some parents expressed displeasure. More banishments may be coming. The problem is that naughty stuff and that word appear in one or more of the books.
Some eighth-graders saw it. When word spread that that word was in the assigned reading, you can imagine that that assigned eighth-grade reading probably got read more enthusiastically than any other eighth-grade assigned reading in the history of eighth-grade assigned reading.
The first time I saw that word was at school. Actually, it was spray painted on the school—on the wall in the back of Lakeaires Elementary. No doubt by some well-read eighth-grader.
Banning books has been a thing for centuries. Some people think if an author gets his or her book banned because it contains words with four letters, he or she immediately goes laughing and spouting salty language all the way to the machine with three letters.
Regardless, is it not the right of every parent to protect eighth-grade minds, and keep them far away from laughing, machines with three letters, and bad words? At least until the next time they’re at the stoplight at Third and Nokomis, and hear rap music coming from the car next to them?
Occasionally, though, banning a book isn’t enough. Sometimes, you need to flag it.
Let me tell you, once a book is flagged, you might as well take that !!#@+&XXX&#$%^&** book and toss it in the !!xxXX*&&%^%#*&()! fire.
Toss it in the fire along with the rest of those *!!!&&+=&^*&**XXX books because sure as %$^^^&XXX&%@#&()!! no XX &^%$#@!#XXX!! eighth grader, or anyone else, is going to touch it.