Beers. Burros. Brides.

“Love and marriage. Love and marriage. Go together like a horse and carriage.” Make that, “Go together like a burro and Budweiser.”

Get ready, Central Minnesota.  Here come the brides, and the latest rage in weddings is having burros deliver beer to their guests.

“Beer burros” are cute, little pack donkeys carrying cute, little saddle bags filled with cute, little bottles of beer.

The job of a professional beer burro, you see, is to saunter around the reception area, mix with and nuzzle guests, be available for the inevitable selfie, nudge old prospectors out of the picture, and make sure no one is thirsty.

How can you possibly run a wedding reception without one? Glad you asked, Juan Valdez.  I checked with an expert at lakesareacelebrations.com.  To her knowledge, beer burros have not made an appearance at any nuptial in Central or West Central Minnesota. However, she would like to assure all young and/or non-young people about to marry, that a wedding reception can still go on sans burro.

She wasn’t as confident about it going on without beer.

If a newly minted couple wanted to avail themselves of this new four-legged service, they can expect to fork out nearly $600 for a pair of beer burros.

Some brides and grooms may opt for the premium package—spend an extra 20 bucks and they can each sit on the little donkeys while saying their vows: “With this jackass, I thee wed.”

Lovely. Someone cue the ring tailed lemurs! Guess what they are carrying.

That’s enough. I’m starting to tear up.

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