Congrats To Grads

Are you attending a graduation ceremony? I notice they’re popping up all over West Central Minnesota. If you miss one, don’t worry. There’ll be another one soon.

It’s like my friend, R.J. says, “they have graduations all the time.”

Pre-school, kindergarten, fifth grade, ninth grade, eighth grade, twelfth grade, six-month trade school, nine-month vocational school, two-year college, four-year college, two years after four-year college, four years after four-year college, 9-months after second-rate five-year high school (Oops. Pardon the flashback to your author’s school days) and the occasional boxing academy.

(Nordic Boxing Academy owner Corey Thompson with Alexandria Chamber Ambassadors)

But, it’s all so exciting and fun and worth celebrating! For example, when Alexandria Technical and Community College has a commencement, they really do it up big. It makes everyone want to dance in the street.

By “dance in the street,” of course, I mean tie up traffic on County Road 82 for an hour or so on a Wednesday afternoon. No problem. There are plenty of alternate routes to, from, and around the Runestone Community Center neighborhood, as I’ve helpfully illustrated here:

And yet, there is a melancholy side to commencement. The goodbyes. The graduation robe dry cleaning bills. The sheep. Yes, let’s not forget the ones who have the most skin in this game.

Why must so many innocent creatures have to give up epidermal tissue just so John Doe from Glenwood and Jane Doe from Barrett–no relation to John–can hold something in their hand at the end of it all?

Holy diplomas, Batman!  I hate to say it, but someone must:

It’s the sordid underbelly of knowing what 2+2 equals.

OK. I admit I have a sheepskin. Somewhere. Two, maybe three of them. I don’t know. But, I would have been just as happy to receive this official proof of my education…

…on a plain piece of paper harvested from a tree killed by a deadly chainsaw.

Graduation. What a ride. Enjoy!



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