Congratulations! You’ve been elected president of the Douglas County Coat Hanger Club. Now what do you do?
Besides deny accusations that you occupy the Triangle Office because you colluded with the Russians and ethically questionable quilters from Starbuck, you must put together your inaugural bash. Let’s peek at the guest list.
In no particular order, there’s long-time coat hanger supporter, Tim Walz, seen here talking about the importance of holding both hands clasped just below your stomach when speaking to the media about coat hangers.
Δ Fascinating Coat Hanger Fun Fact: Though Governor Walz and the Minnesota Legislature rarely agree on spending, they both agree that when you’re spending time with a coat hanger, you’re spending time with a friend!
Δ Fascinating Coat Hanger Fun Fact: Some former Dayton’s Department Store coat hangers that held Village brand coats and Town and Country separates now hold Xhilaration brand midi-dresses and Who What Wear double ruffle sleeveless scoop neck blouses in Target!
Across the pond, an invitation will surely end up on the soon-to-be-out-on-the-street desk of lame-duck British Prime Minister Theresa May.
As of June 7th, Ms. May will have lots of time to attend inaugural bashes. More notably, despite her failure to convince the House of Commons that England should leave the European Union, a wonderful supply of coat hangers never left her well-ordered closet on 10 Downing Street.
Δ Fascinating Coat Hanger Fun Fact: Theresa May worked for the Bank of England. When it came time to roll up her sleeves and count tuppence, she was obsessive about hanging her Daniel Blake coat with the asymmetric collar and oversize military-style buttons over two coat hangers used as one, in perfect harmony.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the whole world could get along like two coat hangers working as one? In perfect harmony?
That will be my campaign slogan when I clasp both of my hands just below my stomach and announce my intention to run against you in four years. But, don’t try to pull any fast ones with Moscow or Starbuck. Let the rest of us have a turn.