Douglas County Habitat ReStore Not Haunted

Good News! Despite a recent outbreak of ghostly encounters at some retailers, the Habitat ReStore on North Nokomis remains spook-free!

Expert spooksperson.  Sorry.  Expert spokesperson and Douglas County Habitat for Humanity ReStore manager Bob Voltz says in the five years he’s been on the job, there has never been a ghost flitting around…or in…the furniture.






Unlike a ReStore in Salisbury, NC which posted a warning on a chest of drawers and bed frame:

“Previous owner reports that the highboy is haunted. He reports continuous nightmares for he and his wife while it was in their room. Also, his dogs would not stop barking at it.”


What in the name of Bill Murray is going on?  A shopper at a grocery store in Massachusetts claims she saw a ghost near the frozen peas. A spokesman for Market Basket nationals said,

“As far as we know, all of our stores are ghost-free.”

Meanwhile, back in the Tar Heel State the frame and drawers were bought by a couple who paid $1,000 for both items.  Said one of the new happy owners,  “I don’t care if it’s haunted. Maybe it will be a nice ghost.”


We’ve heard other stories:

Polly Ester of Glenwood on the remnant she bought at Flooring Outlet by Carpet One.

“I don’t care if it’s haunted. Maybe the ghost knows how to vacuum.”

Linda B. of New London on the Progresso she picked up at the food bank.

“I don’t care if the pea soup is possessed. As long as it stays in my stomach.”


Chip Pringle of Urbank remarked,

“I think a potato I got at Aldi is haunted. No matter where I am in the kitchen, it’s eyes keep looking at me.”







Big Ed from suburban Brooten added,

“Some toilet paper I bought at my neighbor’s rummage sale is haunted. When I squeeze it, it squeezes back.”

Still skeptical? Me, too. But, when those wind chimes you picked up at Magpie start chiming–when it’s not windy–who you gonna’ call?

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