Douglas County, How Low Can You Go?

What is the deepest lake in Douglas County?  According to various maritime web pages, Lake Carlos at 163 feet.  Wait a minute.  Take a breath, Jacques Cousteau.

I have a source in the Alexandria Divers Clubhouse who says they’ve “pinged” Carlos at 155 feet. I’m going with the pingers on this one.  Sorry, various maritime web pages.

◊ A Thing Alexandria Divers Clubhouse Has Seen At The Bottom Of Lake Carlos Fun Fact:    Snowmobile!

Victor Vescovo, retired Navy and intrepid marine explorer, just set the world record for going deeper underwater than anyone.  He plunged seven miles to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.  Victor was poking around the Mariana Trench in his submersible for 4 hours. I wonder if his submersible is yellow?

Quick programming note: I often think of the Cool 94.3 master control studio as a submersible. Every day it’s an adventure to see how far my radio show will sink before hitting bottom.

Looking out his submersible’s window, you might guess Victor would see Flipper, Sponge Bob, Nemo, a snowmobile, sunken booty—SUNKEN BOOTY?—oh, yeah!!

Uh, no.  He saw a plastic bag and candy wrappers.  In the deepest place in the deepest ocean he saw garbage. Where’s West Central Sanitation when you need them?

◊ A Thing Alexandria Divers Clubhouse Has Seen At The Bottom Of Lake Le Homme Dieu Fun Fact:   Model T!

Trash at the bottom of the Pacific probably shouldn’t surprise us, but how do you think it got down there?   And what kind of candy are we talking?  A Hershey ‘D’ Bar wrapper discarded during the Battle of Midway? Did Charles Darwin flick an empty M&M’s bag over the railing of the HMS Beagle?  Was Ferdinand Magellan hurling a spent Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup cup into the briny blue sea? (Although, you’d hope King Charles I of Spain would’ve sprung for a fancy-schmancy 1519 model shipyard-installed litter bag on Ferd’s tub).

Well, that’s all very nice speculation, but it probably was just some 3rd mate on a tramp steamer tossing his Walmart bag and Skittles package overboard.

◊  A Thing Alexandria Divers Clubhouse Has Seen At The Bottom Of Lake Miltona Fun Fact Myth:   Slot machines!

I suppose finding a candy wrapper 36,201 feet below the ocean’s surface is noteworthy. It would have been a lot cooler, though, if Double-D had spotted a candy lineup.

But, since it was just candy wrappers, I hope Mr. Vescovo used one of those robot claw grabber things all self-respecting submersibles have, and picked up the refuse before lift-off because like Professor Starkey taught us in yellow submarine class:

“Always leave ocean trenches better than you found them.”

Peace and Love.  Peace and Love.  Glub, glub.

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