Golf Emergency In Sauk Centre

Something evil has moved into the neighborhood. No, not the KIK FM morning show.

As you may know, the emerald ash borer has been discovered in Sauk Centre.

Minnesota agriculture officials have instituted an emergency quarantine in Stearns County. The aim is to lessen the risk of spreading the nasty, tree-killing bug by limiting the movement of firewood.

Lovers of Sinclair Lewis’ hometown are concerned about their beloved ash trees, as well they should.

I am concerned about my golf game.

I’ve played Greystone Golf Club in Sauk Centre. Sure, there are rare occassions when I hit it right down the middle. But more often, I’m juuuuust a smidgeon off the fairway. OK. Busted. Miles off the fairway. So I’m usually searching, not for my ball, but for just the right tree to wrap my club around. And I always choose Ash. With its opposite branching and compound leaves, c’mon. It’s a no brainer! You think Tiger Woods is wrapping his 2-iron around some idiot douglas fir? Ha!

So please, golfers, don’t be toting your Stearns County firewood back behind the clubhouse at Lynx National and building a pyre on which to burn your scorecard.

Wait until you get home.  My foursome, and the Minnesota Department of Agriculture, thank you.

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