Most people reading this probably aren’t Irish. If you are, fantastic! March 17th be sure to rub it in the faces of those who aren’t. To the non-Celtic here are some tips to join in the fun:
1) Wear green. Like the Incredible Hulk.
— GameSpot (@GameSpot) March 1, 2019
Note to kids: steroids should only be used by superheroes and Minnesota professional athletes. Past performance suggests they need to use more of them.
2) Speaking of sports, your favorite basketball team is now the Boston Celtics. Your favorite football team is The Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Your favorite roller derby team is the Green Bay Smackers.
Hold it. They’ve been disbanded for wearing too much red, not enough green. Shucks.
Sean Connery Liam Neeson is now your favorite movie actor. Favorite movie actress? Of course, Una O’Connor.
Favorite Irish movie: The Wizard of Oz because of Emerald City. And the monkeys. They’re short like Leprachauns. And smell the same.
4) Favorite morning disc jockey: Shotgun Kelly. O.K. That’s asking too much.
5) Drink a lot. Especially McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes. Here’s why: Jeff Grayson with McDonald’s Minnesota says 40 cents from every Shamrock Shake sold from March 5th to March 17th goes to RHMC in Minnesota to celebrate 40 years. Plus, they’re super yummy. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!