Mashed Potato Mystery

When it comes to giving away food, there are lots of generous souls in the micropolitan lakes area.

Volunteers and donors keep the Douglas County Outreach Food Shelf stocked. Church pantries in the area along with “The Shelf” at the Alexandria Area High School help fight hunger.

But in Mississippi someone has too much food. Specifically, potatoes.

Someone is leaving bowls of mashed potatoes in strange locations in Jackson, MS. In mailboxes. On porches. On the hoods of cars.


No one knows who it is. You might ask, ‘Why mashed potatoes and not grits?’ I have a sister who lives in Alabama so I called and asked her. She said a true Southerner would never waste grits like that. And quickly added, “Tarnation, if that ain’t the most no count, lame-brained Yankee question I ever heard. What do you have? Mashed potatoes for brains?!  How you people ever won the War Of Northern Aggressi–”  That’s when I cut her off.









But, I get the point. It would be like a mystery man from Miltona leaving a bowl of hot dish in your Green Sheet receptacle. Or a furtive female from Forada putting plates of lutefisk on random boat trailers. Waste. Waste. Waste.

Meanwhile, back in Dixie the police say it is not illegal to leave mashed potatoes in traditionally non-mashed potato locations.

No one has reported eating the potatoes left on their porch, in their mailbox, or on the hood of their car. Why would they? Unless the secret potato placer was also fixin’ to leave delicious, homemade gravy in the windshield wiper fluid reservoir.  And hominy in the glove compartment. Then bon appetit, y’all.

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