Quick, name the most plentiful, irrigated crop in Douglas County. Corn? Beans? The quiff?
Try grass…as in the stuff you keep putting off mowing so you can go play on somebody else’s mowed stuff.
You can say that attaining and maintaining the perfect lawn is bad for the planet. Save your breath, Al Gore. Elite Alexandria turf artists don’t want to hear it. Also, they can’t hear it over their 300 horsepower leaf blowers. If you’ve ever taken an airplane ride over Alexandria, you’ve seen a lot of blue and maybe wondered, “Where does anyone find dry land to live on down there?” It’s there, Captain Sully. In fact, if you take the whole U.S.A, lawns cover 40 million acres.
How about some of the great looking cuts people do on their lawns around here? Nice work in west Alexandria…
Sometime during the history of not living in caves, the owning and caretaking of a lush green patch became synonymous with “you da man!” In 1999, The New York Times reported that
“obsession with lawns seems overwhelmingly a male prerogative, maybe the next big guy thing after smoking cigars and swilling martinis.”
How do you prefer your lawn, Mr. Bond?
Growing up on the hard-scrabble streets of White Bear Lake, Minnesota, my Dad always hoped one day I’d grow up to be a lawn and order guy. He loved turfgrass, and cowboy shows. His nickname for me was “Dogie.” He’d often exclaim, “Git a lawn, little Dogie!”
Sorry, Dad. Still a work in progress…
Fans of grass: Willie Nelson, Snoop, Jesse Ventura, Tim Walz.
Fans of the Grassroots: Johnny Rocket, Ruby Tuesday, Shotgun, his brother-in-law.
John Sebastian and The Lovin’ Spoonful nailed it when they sang, “Take a walk in the sun and fall on your face on somebody’s new mowed lawn.”
Bring a friend, though. You’ll want a lookout.